Your Job Is What You Want To Exist
Perhaps you have had the sensation of being so frustrated because something was not a certain way. You got so angry that you went ahead and made it happen. Can you recall the clarity and power that flowed through you? Do you remember how the Universe conformed to your reality-shaping offers? You probably did not know how to make it happen. And it was irrelevant. You probably did not have permission to do it. And you did not ask for it. You did whatever it took to bring what you wanted to exist into existence. What if your unreasonable and outrageous Rage that says “I want this to exist” is your real job? What if riding that rageful Dragon was what you came here to do?
If this were so, it would free you from having to manipulate yourself with circumstances to do your job. School programs you to manipulate yourself to do what you already want to do: learning. You learn so that you can give the correct answer to the teacher and be rewarded. You learn so that you can have good grades and be admired by your parents. You learn so that you can get into the best college or university and fulfill the promise of having a ‘good job’ upon exit from modern education. Even if you decided to be a ‘bad student’, have low grades, and receive negative attention from your teachers and parents, your behavior to not conform to external pressures was as much shaped by those external pressures as if you decided to abide by them. From an early age, you have been trained to seek circumstances that create the appropriate pressure for you to deliver your work.
It could be that still today, you install fake external pressure circumstances to manipulate yourself to create what you already want to come into existence. For example, you might impose deadlines on yourself, or pay people to check-in on you, have a boss that tells you what to do, or enroll in classes to give you assignments as a form of self-manipulation. Did you ever notice yourself resenting these external pressures even though you arranged them yourself?
Or maybe you develop elaborate and noble reasons why you are doing your job — some of them you might never want to reveal publicly. Maybe you deliver your services to the world ‘because’ it might makes you rich and famous, or ‘because’ it might give you enough money to survive, or ‘because’ people might love you more, or ‘because’ other people need what you are offering, and even maybe ‘because’ you think it might save the world…
When you do things ‘because’ of a reason, you place expectations on the results. You might expect that the world becomes a better place, or that people change or that you become successful (whatever that means.) What if your expectations are not fulfilled? Then you become resentful against the world for not conforming to your expectations. Delivering your service then feeds your underworld addictions as a massive source of Gremlin food.
Is it possible that you are still using the school-instilled strategy of inflicting external pressures upon yourself to do what you already want to do because you do not know that you have access to your internal resource of unreasonable Rage at any time for no reason?
What if you dropped off the ‘because’ and the ‘in order to’ that are only acting as acceptable bypasses from your authentic Rage? What if you freed yourself from reasonableness and became an outrageous force of Rage in the world? It is a sort of madness to deliver your singular work according to a Rage that says, “I want this to exist” when the only reward that you would ever get is that this comes into existence. The result of your unshakeable clarity stands alone without any reasons or expectations attached. If someone asks you “Why are you doing this?” you would have no other explanation but that you wanted it to exist. They might push back and say, “But, why?”. The authentic answer would be: “No reason.”
If you have had this experience before, you know that such unreasonable Rage burns right through your emotional fears of not being good enough, or fears of making a mistake because you don’t know how it goes. Such Rage ignores your Gremlin strategies to play victim and get revenge. Such flaming Clarity is unhindered by the opinions and fears of other people. Their claim of ‘impossibility’ becomes irrelevant.
When unleashing such resources, your efforts and energy are moved to create the particular results that would bring your Rage to its satisfaction. It can be intense. Your inner experience might be something like: “Things are like this, and I want them to be like that, but they aren’t like that, and it drives me mad enough to jump out of bed in the morning and do whatever it takes to make it how I want it to be!”
When the thing comes into its own existence, it stands away from you and you are fulfilled, until the next layer of Outrage comes, which might only be a few moments later! It could be about writing The Book, or writing your next Article, delivering a WorkTalk, or a Workshop, making your next video, creating a Team of Edgeworkers or Intimacy Journeyers or Trainers, building a Gaian Gameworld such as a Bridge-House, or creating a codex for inhabiting a Nanonation, etc… Whatever it is you create, the engine behind your gestures is your outrageous Rage.
For example, right now, I am using my outrageous Rage: that I want this article to exist in the world, to fuel my fingers bashing the keys. Only after this article is written, edited, proofread, published on Medium, posted on my website, Facebook and sent in my newsletter, will my Rage be satisfied. This Rage enlivens my commitment to write this article, as well as my integrity to my Archetypal Lineage which is providing this precious clarity.
As a result, my collaborations with others create and harvest new possibilities to bring my article into existence. Taking a shower or washing the breakfast dishes supports my physical body to bring this article into existence. I go through my next Emotional Healing Process or Adulthood Initiation as the path of bringing this article into existence!
In this case, I offer you the following experiment.
EXPERIMENT ARTICLE0.01: GIVE BACK THE EXTERNAL PRESSURE
This experiment needs to be done in the presence of a spaceholder. Before or when you meet, show them the write-up of this experiment. You can also decide to exchange spaceholding for each other to go through this experiment. If you go first, after you go through this experiment, then change roles and hold space. The purpose of this experiment is to make conscious how you manipulate yourself by obeying the voices of external pressure that you unconsciously but commonly listen to.
This experiment can get loud, and lasts around 30–45 minutes.
The spaceholder asks you to let the sensations of feeling pressured get bigger — as big as they really are in the background. Sensations such as having to do it right, the fear of doing it wrong, having to do it perfectly, needing to be a good person, a good daughter/son, a good citizen, a good soldier, a good catholic. Let the fear, the sadness and the anger of having tried to survive under the crushing obligation to be flawless, to always know, to never look bad be revealed. Let the voices of ‘have to’, ‘should’ and ‘must’ that are constantly running in the background come into the foreground by shouting them out loud. Also say out loud the rescuing voices that help you go through the day under this overwhelming burden. Say everything that you have to watch out for so you can be safe. Your spaceholder can sometimes provide completion loops by repeating back what they have heard you say.
After at least 25 minutes of digging down layer after layer through these sensations that you suppressed for years, start making an energetic pile of the voices in front of you, by naming them one by one and, if you can, identify the original speaker (your mother, your father, a teacher, a movie character, the government, …). When the pile is a meter high, you have the possibility to give back these external-pressure sentences to their originators. If you choose to do so, then click your Clicker (snap your fingers) to energetically call all the external authority figures that you have kept around to pressure you to stand in front of you. At that point, pick up the whole pile of voices with your arms and hands and announce: “I have changed my mind. I refuse to use external pressure to create what I am here to create. I do not want your voices anymore. I give them back to you.” Then throw them back to where they came from. Click your clicker to vanish the speakers.
Please reach into your Bag Of Things, grab a Golden Pearl of your own concentrated energy and information from all time and all space and hold it over your head. Then drop it into your energetic body and let it burst open at your center and fill in the vacant spaces where the external pressure used to be. Do a few more Pearls.
Take a deep breath. Open your eyes. Drink a glass of water. Take a 5-minute break. Then change roles with your spaceholder. Congratulations, welcome to the depressurized creation!
In addition, the Possibilitator Training offers various nonlinear and powerful ways to build the resilience to stand at the convergence of your outrageous Rage and your Archetypal Lineage such as: 3–3–3 initiation, Rage Club, Dragon Speaking, Gremlin Transformation, Adult Ego State Decontaminations, committing before you know how, stellating, Emotional Healing Processes, taking your Authority back, and exiting the 8 prisons.
You can use your already existing Rage to commit to your outrageous Rage!