Reclaim Your Authority
A dozen declarations from participants in a Series Rage Club
Below, you will find an assemblage of more than a dozen of articles written by the most courageous people I’ve the chance to encounter: people who are ready to break any rule (especially their own!) to take back their Authority.
Warning: INTENSE! Those articles were written during a Rage Club, they hold the specific energy of the Bright Principle of Clarity. Not an intellectual clarity, a 5-body Clarity.
My authority
I take back my authority to be happy. I may laugh at every joke and at everything I find funny, even if others do not find the joke funny. I can laugh at something as long as I want to! I decide myself and spontaneously and alone what I want to laugh about. I take back my authority to laugh with open mouth and very loud.
I take back my authority to go away whenever I want. I don’t have to stay and listen to any more bullshit. From now on I’m going to get up immediately and say that my ears are listening to bullshit and I’m going to leave the room whenever I want to. I don’t have to stay anymore. I take back my authority not to stay for anything! I DON’T HAVE TO FUCKING ENDURE ANYTHING!! I take back my authority to say STOP right now or leave right now. I don’t have to explain. I rescind my authority not to have to explain why I’m leaving. I don’t have to defend myself! I take back my authority, my decision, my YES, my NO, my I KNOW NOT to take it as a basis for action. I revoke my authority to decide myself on every fucking step of my life. I take back my authority to be here now because I decided so myself. I decide. I DECIDE! I DECIDE!!! I take my authority to interrupt anyone at any point right now, even if the reason is only obvious to me.
I rescind my authority to eat whatever I feel like. I alone decide when, how much and what I eat. WHEN, HOW MUCH and WHAT! I take back my authority to eat two pigs and a chocolate cake at 2:00 a.m. at night if I want to.
I take back my authority to get old. To become an old woman. I take back my authority to get gray hair. I rescind my authority to get wrinkles and my authority to be ugly. I have the right to be old and gray. I’m allowed to walk around with flowing grey hair. And why? Because I want to. I don’t care what’s appropriate. I decide, all by myself! And if my gray hair grows to the ground, it’s none of your business. Because I’ve decided. Off! Finished! No! Stop!
Nooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!
I revoke my authority to scream so loud, the walls are shaking! To scream as loud WITHOUT A REASON as I like. I decide how long and how loud I scream! Do you hear me?????? Listen:
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrgggggggaaaaaaaäääääääää!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Martina Niklis.
— — — — — — — — —
I won’t allow anyone or anything to have power over me
Taking back authority by Habet Dahab Ogbamichael
This is the decision I made in the Rage Club, in the 3rd session of Rage Club.
This safe setting helped me to realize how I am punishing myself, beating up myself for my thoughts and feelings, for my longings and desires, for my dreams and visions. So quickly after having a thought or a feeling, there are voices coming that are telling me that I cannot do this or that, explaining to me how I am too weak or too small for that. They are instructing me that I would like to learn more about that to do that. I would have to know more to be effective. All in all they are telling me that in any case I am not ready for that. That was their message in different wording. And these vices made me feel pity for myself, made me lonely and helpless. They made me mix anger with sadness to have a solid and toxic depression that would let any fresh thought, feeling or impulse be drown into a muddy swamp of self pity. Because at any given time I had an explanation for the cause of that state I was in. Actually I had an explanation for anything and everything, because that was what I have learned in school, with my parents and my older siblings. I always felt the pressure to explain what I am doing, why I am doing it and how I am doing it. And was pretending that I know what I am doing. I tried to make myself believe that. And in this way I lived a life of faked confidence, hoping that others would not hurt me. This was a prison and I did not even know it until I wanted to be closer and intimate with somebody I loved. In these moments I could see the bars of my prison. I could have a glimpse on my ideas and beliefs about how the world is, and who I am in it and how I should relate to the world outside without giving up my protection of creating fake identity.
In the Rage Club session I allowed myself to be really angry about that. I gave these voices that were keeping me small my voice and I heard myself saying every single word of humiliation towards myself.
The anger became so huge. It grew bigger than those thoughts behind the voices. It was a huge fire that melted them down, every single sound of it. I screamed and roared and them and while I was doing it I knew they were not mine, I took them on like a hat taking my sight. They did not belong to me. They helped me to survive and grow and get to this point where I could roar like a lion. It was clear to me in that moment, that this huge anger was there laying open and available for me for a new and radical decision. I took my sword of clarity and cut the chords of entanglement with all that wanted to take power over me, even my own insecurities , that could have been used to sabotage myself. My sword could reach to root of it before my mind could and I shouted out loud. Shortly there was a fear coming up that my neighbors might call the police. And while everybody else in the club was screaming and shouting as well, I knew this is real shit. I felt encouraged enough to be as loud as I could screaming I won’t allow anything or anyone to have power over me. And immediately there was a peace inside of me. I knew I don t need to be tamed. I needed to be heard. Sadness came up in me with this realization and I looked at my fellow rage workers. I felt deeply connected in this moment and encouraged to explore more about this life force that brought me back on track after so many years of living a fake life. Something never left me and it seemed that my survival strategies did a good job. The voices are still there sometimes and they have no power over me.
— — — — — — — —
I let my box by my side RIGHT NOW
CLOUDS OF MY HEAD GO, GOOOO NOW!.
Come back my voice,
MYY VVOOICEE IS ALIVE
and is here for sharing
what I FEEL,
what I WANT,
what I SEE.
I TAKE BACK MY AUTHORITY, I TAKE IT BACK NOW!!!!
I say YES, NO, STOP. If I don’t want something I SAY NO. I don’t argue, I JUST SAY NOOOO, STOP.
My voice is here for telling what I want, what I don’t want and I decide to use it for this purpose.
I DECIDE TO TAKE BACK MY VOICE, to speak clear about what I want, to speak clear what I think, what I feel, what I SEE, to sing what i want, to SING what comes to me, to sing to my children, to sing to myself and heal my body, my mind, my emotions.
I tell what i SEE from now on. I STOP to hide my words and just speak to myself.
I SAY GENTLY OR LOUD what I see,what I want to express.
YES, NOO, STOP, STOP NOW, PROU, CHEGA…
And when I see it I say it, without the mind stopping what i want to share.
I STOP MY MIND TO STOP ME, I stop to eat the words.
I SAY WHAT I WANT FOR ME
I DON’T WAIT THE OTHERS TO KNOW WHAT I WANT, I USE MY VOICE FOR SAYING WHAT I WANT/NEED.
— — — — — — — —
I take back my authority!
The third meeting in the rage club gave me the opportunity to take back my authority. After everyone in the rage club had the process in which they took back their authority from different authority figures we had some time for angry writing for what we just did. Here is what I wrote down:
“I take back my authority from the moneymonster! I take back my authority from survival through money! I take back my authority from the story that money can tell the worth of people and the worth of a life! It’s not like that!
I’m scared about people who value others by the amount of money they can hold in their hands. And I am scared that I will be left alone without enough money.
I take back my authority from money! Its my life! I can hold as much money in my hands as I need and by that I am not a “bad” person! I am not an irresponsible person because of having money and earning money! I am responsible! I can create money as much as I need in order to play the game! Money is a Gameworld and has nothing to do with my personal value! No money can give a number of my personal worth! No person has more value because of money! I am lovable without money!
Money is a Gameworld and I can create the money I need to play in the Gameworld. I take a stand for money being a Gameworld and has nothing to do with human value!
Money is not a huge Monster I need to be liked by so I would have the honour to receive some money. It’s my life and it’s not led by money and it’s not bad to know how to deal with money — how to play the game and how to create more of it! It’s not bad to deal with money and it’s not bad to ask for money in exchange of service! Money is not confusing and it doesn’t have the power over my life and possibilities! I changed my story!
I take back the authority to take back my authority! I take back my waiting for permission of the moneymonster to be responsible for my money! I have enough money and I can create more of it and I am in charge of it! I don’t depend on the moneymonster! There is no moneymonster!”
Before I took back my authority I wasn’t aware that I thought money would be a huge monster sitting somewhere in a huge house and deciding who the monster likes and whom it doesn’t like. I’m glad I had the chance to realise this story I created about money. Again I see how much I am able to believe my own stories.
Love
Sophia-Magdalena Hofmann
— — — — — — — —
Dear World,
I am writing this letter to tell you that I took back authority. I have it now in me.
I am my own authority.
I take back the authority from an outside image of how my feminine body should look like, how many kilograms it should weigh, how I should feel and, how fast I should have my orgasm and with who.
I take back the authority from patriarchal men and women, putting me into a narrow frame in which I should fit. I decide to play with my body, to change my look, how I want it and when I want it, to experiment, to enjoy it no matter how it looks.
I don’t do it to please anyone.
I don’t do it to be loved by anyone.
I decide not to wait for approval, acceptance nor permission.
I take back the authority over my ART, my creation. It’s in my heART and womb now.
I decide it’s big, transforming, sensitive.
I decide to stay vulnerable and open.
I decide to show it to you, World without self-censorship.
I take back the authority over my Love life and partnership. I decide to be happy, be trustful, be open and free.
I choose a relational experiment, I choose to stay wild and freaky.
I choose not to know how we should be and to be extraordinary in love.
I choose to have family as we want it.
I choose to love and be loved.
I choose Life.
Witch Love,
Beata
— — — — — — — —
ABOUT LIFE IN SLAVERY AND LONGING FOR FREEDOM
I would prefer that everything I write here would be not true.
I’d rather be able to open a Facebook chart and pretend that it’s all cool and helping others pretend it’s cool.
(And although this does not exclude the wonderfulness of life) it is not cool.
I have been trained to live in guilt and shame that I am who I am. To listen and obey. Parents, elderly people, teachers at school, the state, employers, leaders, leaders, media, news, the Church, thoughts and rationalism, white man’s history and civilization. People who say how it is.
For most of my life I have been trained to be a slave.
I was trained to believe that everyone around us (above all: authorities) know better than me:
what is good and what is bad for me
how should I speak and what should I say,
how to move
how and what to think about,
what is my gender and sexuality
how do I dress and walk,
how to put my feet up and move my arms,
with what intonation to speak and what to say, to whom and how,
what falls out and what doesn’t
when I have to wake up, work, rest and go to sleep,
what sounds and movements to make in what circumstances,
how to write letters, headers, texts and what to write about,
how to connect with people and on what terms,
how to treat your body, what to eat and why,
what to believe, what to stand for, what to feel and what not
how and where to work,
how to fill my days, place of residence and free time.
What a man, father, brother, son, friend, trainer, creator and man to be.
Day after day, at home, at school, at friends’ visits, at the university, at work, on television, in peer groups, books: sometimes very subtly and not very noticeably, and sometimes brutally and cruelly, someone was shaping us like an axe shapes a wooden ball to fit the fence.
Hit by hit, suppressing innocence and trust in myself and my instincts.
MOST OF ALL OF THESE PEOPLE HAD THE BEST INTENTIONS!
And this is for me the greatest drama of our civilization.
People who want to love and be loved, inflict deep spiritual wounds on themselves and their loved ones, blow the most sensitive parts of their humanity to the pulp (* not everyone).
A civilization that goes hand in hand with the institution of the Catholic Church, whose main job for hundreds of years has been to convince the world that it is sinful, guilty and must repent for everything (and forcing its will on it), meanwhile speaking of love and goodness.
A civilization whose history books mainly consist of stories of conquests, wars, coups, revolts, expansion and struggle for power and concepts that do not even really exist outside of human minds (countries, money, borders, etc.) (* which also contains in themselves wonderful and beautiful things).
Civilization (I generalize, yes), which puts rationalism on a pedestal with coolness and a sense of superiority, suppressing emotions and manifestations of bodily vitality.
A civilization of disrespect for life other than human (though honestly I would not call respect if you have a glance at our culture), feeling and civilization of physical, emotional and spiritual violence, which in more and less subtle forms you will find in every home, institution and corner, to which this civilization journeyed. And it did journeyed, or saying it more clearly, fucking broke in with dirty shoes, almost to every corner of the earth.
A civilization that, like cancer, has endangered most life on earth.
And it’s not that someone wants to do it. We have great intentions. And we still do it. I do it too. From generation to generation, we pass on our wounds and psycho-emotional luggage, whether we want it or not. It’s not about anyone’s fault. And most of us don’t even suppose how much we are composed of what has been given to us as the only right and true.
And I (and you probably too) as a child, young man, had other ideas. Flowing from my body, feelings, intuition, heart and soul. Another idea for yourself, life, world. And most of the times I didn’t use my power, courage, endurance and resources to break through the world around me. So I became a domesticated wild animal that lost its instincts and who was taught that these instincts are evil.
And after six years of working on myself (various processes, therapies, ceremonies, groups, circles, workshops, travel, artistic expression, shedding tears, screaming in anger and shaking in fear) and attempts to unscrew this training, my body is still full shame and guilt that it is what it is. That I am the way I am. Indeed, this work on myself was primarily dictated at the beginning. And for a large part of the time development was the same for me (more, more, more, harder!).
The effect of training is that at a deep level (i.e. one that I don’t know most of the time) for almost my entire life, most of what I did and who I was seemed to be wrong. Insufficient. Sinful. Wrong. Too small. Too big. Too loud. Too. Too fat, thin. Too intelligent and thoughtful, or too sensitive and not rational enough. Too polite or too vulgar. Too clear and confrontational or vague and bland. And so on.
So I asked everyone around. I was waiting for confirmation. That is OK? Is that right? Yes? Yes, how can I change? Stop this way? Speak less, shout more quietly? Keep quiet at all? Will you accept me now? Now you will finally love me?
And I fight for freedom with one hand and with the other I try to push myself into frames and cages. So the people would like and love me. To be safe. I squeeze into forms, although none can hold my Being. Every now and then I lean out to find myself in an endless space of freedom, pulling one rod at a time. And then I come back because this space is so terrifying and unknown.
I used to practice Muay Thai for two years, 3 hours a week (sometimes a few months break). After ten years, at any time of the day or night, my body can repeat exactly the sequence of movements that I have learned at that time.
Think of it.
Twenty, thirty, forty years of everyday training. The same amount of years of learning to defend your heart with armor to be safe, to pretend, protect, hide the sorrows, despair and anger in the deepest depths of the heart. Hundreds of years of smoking at the stake for being different from the canon. Hundreds of years of identifying the body and feelings with the devil’s habitat. Thousands of years of struggle for power and expansion and cultural blow.
Do you think you will do few workshops and read some books about spirituality and be free? If you succeed, I will honestly be very happy. And at the same time I don’t believe it.
Just like the country we live in, after decades of enslavement, will not be suddenly free.
Because the bars grow into our bodies, hearts and souls. When we live in captivity all our lives, life in captivity is the only thing we know FOR REAL. And contrary to what one might think, this is the only place that seems safe to me. Because I only know this.
Prison became my identity and my identity became a prison.
Separation is usually a slow process.
We have been trained to bow our heads full of shame and obedient powerlessness to the authorities whose voices have whipped our humanity, wildness and innocence.
And when they are no longer physically in our lives, we ourselves replace them. We cover our backs, legs, hands and hearts with the whips of sharp words, criticism and austerity. And we often do it even more severely and cruelly. Because that’s the only thing we know.
Somewhere, in the deepest depths, the most sensitive parts of us became shut down mostly because we started to believe that this pain is exactly what we deserve. And that we don’t deserve to be who we really are.
Innocent, wonderful beings, filled with the divine spark of creation and love.
My truth is that I’m still afraid to be myself. I still sometimes look at others for confirmation of my projects, ideas, thoughts, feelings and intuitions in others. A little less and I still do it. To see that I am giving away my authority, I also needed authorities to show me this.
I have a feeling that every month I am closer to myself (although sometimes I feel that much further away), my feelings, intuition, heart, soul, and at the same time the closer I am, the more I see how deep I was in this shit up to my ears.
Maybe it’s going slowly. And on the other hand it gives hope that nothing goes to waste. That the process is happening and it may be worth trusting it, even if we do not see the results right away. No action on your way is in vain. Even if it lasts longer than our greedy mind would wish.
The whole world of personal development and spirituality says: love yourself. But love who? Do we even know who to love? Do we know who is under the next layers and cultural and social conditioning?
I feel joy as I write this (except anger, sadness and fear). Because I really don’t know who I am. At the deepest, deepest level. I do not know who I am.
And I feel joy. Because there is so much to discover.
Phew, and now I feel fear because I know what I will write in a moment. I will write:
I decide to stop asking others to tell me who I am.
— — — — — — — —
AUTHORITY
By Sara Parisi
Last Friday, in front of other bright evolutionary explorers, I contacted that transformative neutral energy called Anger, which I was afraid of many times, and which I have hidden many times because a thousand social and educational reasons suggested me to be a negative, to forget and unwanted part of me, and I used it with pride and honor as a Warrior uses her sword to delimit where her life can exist, and with it I declared my Authority back.
My Authority to write, which I stifled all those times that I wrote about my passions and they said to me “you are exaggerated, you can’t feel that way”.
I took back my Authority to write my feelings, which no one can limit or commensurate, to be exaggerated, not understood, to navigate in my infinite inner space where feelings are huge, colorful, uncontainable!
To write with heart, to write about love, to write even if nobody ever read me, even if I am not published, to write for myself and also to write for others!
I took back my Authority to be read.
I took back the Authority to be a Woman. Not woman as non-man, not woman as less-man, nor more-than-a-man. Woman.
Beautiful, joyful, wise, mother, partner, friend, lover, daughter, divine expression, in contact with God, shaman of the group, guide of the tribe, who speaks calmly among the shouting of children and returns to her tent in the evening to lie down next to her man and there she is still a Woman.
I took back the Authority to give new meaning to the word JOB, because job is what I came into the world for, it is not what others expect of me. It is what I have to complete here and for which I have incarnated, it is being at the service, it is what is my choice. It is the transposition of my feeling, of the heart, of the skills, into a material manifestation.
I left it behind, hidden under the image with which they had painted it to me: job as sacrifice, which no one can choose for love. The job from which you cannot expect satisfaction, which you do for the family and then if you have some time left, and you are not too tired yet, you can dedicate yourself to your hobby of being partially briefly happy, to dream, and play a little to create the illusion.
Because job, as they had painted it for me, does not coincide with pleasure, but only with the need to bring home money to eat and meet the needs of the family.
I took back the Authority to do what I love my job.
I took back the Authority of being undecided, scared or tired, because I left it caught at the idea to need to prove myself perfect to be unassailable, bright to not bother with my presence, brilliant to not have to take responsibility for my failures. I took back the Authority to be a Human Being, to go up and down on the swing of energy, which is the natural breathing of life.
To rejoice, to change opinion, to make mistakes, to change direction, to do right, to be vulnerable, to be authentic.
I took back the Authority to fall in love, to love with all my heart, to kiss, to be kissed, because I left it behind, collapsed on the ground where for the last time I had fallen in love and they hurt me, and I hurt in turn, and I let all that love rise so high to fall and smash to the ground couldn’t get back up.
But now I extended my hand to it, and I raised my authority to love beyond all limits.
I have taken back my Authority to stay in the pleasure. To smile. To start flying again.
I have taken back my Authority.
— — — — — — — —
My Authority.
I found out that I have unconsciously been giving my inner authority away, and here is to let you know that I am TAKING IT BACK!
NO MORE will I work like a slave, JUST TO PAY MY BILLS and have nothing left for creating my life in abundance! No more will I slave away at a rate where time = money! I stand for providing my service, the services I was born to provide, in my community, in my own time, in my own way. With the rhythms of my body, trusting my inner compass. I will find the way that enough, no, abundance! Of money fills my life as ROCKET FUEL to keep on providing the services of my being in this world! No more will money lead me by the balls!!!
No more will I sell my life force for mere survival. No more will I accept the normal 40 hours of work culture. FUCK THAT. And neither will I be called LAZY! OR darling or Hun or Sweetie or Boy or anything fucking else that people want to call me because they are scared of the adult man I am and want me to be their little boy. Get fucked.
I feel so alive doing the work I love doing. And yeah I JUST FEEL SO FUCKING ALIVE! WHY SHOULDN’T I LIVE LIKE THIS??? I’m healing men’s culture! I’m creating beautiful responsible adulthood for my stepchildren! I’m loving and queen making my woman! I’m standing with, and empowering the men in my life! I’m creating beautiful, simple, practical, sustainable furniture! And I love it!
I take authority back from my expectations and your expectations of how I live it.
I take authority back for creating abundance of money in my life and I take my balls back from money.
I take authority back for being a man in my full potential and I will not apologise for it. Signed. Tristan
— — — — — — — —
I Take My Authority Back
Last Sunday I woke up at 8am, and alongside a dozen other courageous trailblazers, decided to keep my commitment to be in an extraordinary virtual gathering. The quest: to scan for every place in our lives where we give our authority away to others; to constructs; to beliefs, and with the rocket fuel of our conscious rage to Take. It. Back. This letter is only partly what came out of this initiation.
I take back my authority to choose, decide and allow, or not allow. I choose myself.
I am ‘me’. I am not a consumer, I am not a nationality, a facilitator, a gender, a taxpayer. I am not my internet data. I am not an idea, nor a concept to be framed and replicated as part of a lifestyle on social media. I choose to be the vehicle for my powers, my Bright Principles and my Archetypal Linenage to express and play and work in the world.
I choose my path.
Instead of looking to others’ success as a guide, instead of looking for the answer to the next ‘right’ step in my path in books, in courses, in advice, in the cards, in tea leaves, I choose to radically rely on my inner and outer resources. I take back my authority and authorship to choose my path by walking it whatever way I walk it, with each fully consequent step. I choose to walk it not knowing how it goes or what comes next. I choose to change my mind about any of my stories. And then change it again. And again.
I choose my own tempo.
Instead of looking at my friends and colleagues, and comparing my own creations to their unique ones, I choose my singularity and I forge my own path. I decide when to start and when to stop, and I decide when to change my mind. I choose when to offer something to others or not, regardless if that’s what most people are doing, if that’s the tradition, or even if that’s the rule of law.
I am Abundance. Clarity. Love. Possibility!
I take my authority back to decide how I want to relate, instead of following expectations and assumed behaviours from family, friends, lovers and co-workers. I decide how and what I want to wear, instead of following unsustainable fashion trends. I choose where I work and what I work at, and who I work with, instead of following scarcity stories of capitalism and competitive markets. I choose to create games and collaboration where I win when others win too.
I choose to dismantle the patriarchy in me. I choose to eat or not eat meat and to dance naked. I choose to end and start commitments, relationships, and agreements. I decide if I want to have children or not, regardless if I am able to bear them in my physical body.
I choose how to create and collaborate in Life.
I decide what games I play in and don’t. I decide to choose to participate and co-create the gameworld of Possibility Management, and I choose to create more gameworlds.
I take my authority back and take back my power of consent.
I decide if I allow myself or not to interact and relate, for no reason.
Access to any of my bodies, my presence, my voice, my qualities, energy, radiance and time is a privilege, not a right, that can be revoked at any time, with anyone, for no reason.
I choose without asking permission from anyone.
I choose to choose from options not on the menu and to create new menus.
I listen to myself, and I have my own timing. I listen to my Archetypal Lineage. I listen to Gaia. I listen to my bodies. I listen to the messages of my Bright Principles. I decide how to end this letter. I decide to make experiments that are fun for me. I decide my meaning of fun. I decide what is of value to me, and I decide my definition of worth.
Taking my authority back has brought me the power of deliberation, and also has shown me more options than before. I can’t blame others for much of what happens in my life, and now I’m starting to not be able to even blame myself. What’s next? My next experiment is to follow the scent of the question “what do ‘I’ really want?” and see where it takes me.
Vera Luísa Franco
Findhorn, Scotland
10th May 2020
— — — — — — — —
Dear men, dear partner, ex partner, ex lover:
Listen up!
I am fed up.
I say stop I say BACK OFF!
Your not my son and never were
Here and now I release you from that role
In crap movie we both played
Listen up!
I am fed up.
I say stop I say BACK OFF
I am not your daughter and never were
Here and now I release you from that role
In crap movie we both played
I am not your mother. You’re not my dad.
Do you hear me?
HERE I STAND.
Give you back what’s yours and take what’s mine.
your anger, fear and unresolved issues with women belong to you
TO YOU! TO YOU! ARE YOURS! YOURS!!!!!!!
enjoy
I DECLARE THAT THIS IS NOT MY PROBLEM and not my pain
my fear, anger and unresolved issues with men belong to me
TO ME! TO ME! ARE MINE! MINE!!!!!
Here and now I declare: I OWN THEM AND I A ENOUGH!
Listen up!
All my life I was understanding and soft enough
I DECIDE:
you’ve received, used and abused enough of my softness
MY SOFTNESS BELONGS TO ME!
WON’T FEED YOU ANYMORE WITH IT
WHEN I WANT TO KILL AND SHOUT!
MY SOFTNESS IS MINE!!!
AND I OWN MY BAD
of withdrawing my anger, my rage, my Kali
and
hiding in my “softness”: numbing myself or crying
so
Listen up
here and now
I TAKE BACK MY AUTHORITY AND RESPONSIBILITY
OF CO-CREATION
and
here and now I lovingly let you have you’re your problems,
your toys and your stories
I DECLARE TO TREAT IT AS IT IS-
YOUR STORIES
YOUR PROBLEMS
YOUR CHOICES
enjoy
Listen up!
I take back the fear of igniting you
and the fear of your revenge
I STAND BY MYSELF
I OWN MYSELF
HERE I STAND
SWALLOW IT!
as
I DECLARE TO OWN MY AUTHORITY
WHILE SHINING LIKE A DIAMOND!
and
WHILE BLEEDING AND MOURNING!
I DECLARE TO OWN MY AUTHORITY
WHILE SHIVERING IN FEAR
and
BURNING IN DESIRE, WHITE CREATING NEW UNIVERSES
and
SETTING OLD ONES IN FIRE
join me as equal
stand next to me
commit to my commitment
see me naked weak and strong
or
back the fuck off
as
here and now I chose to not to restrict
my 5 bodies presence at their
vastness,
everythingness
and crazy expressiveness
in any space in regards to your presence
If you don’t want to experience me- own it or solve it
IS NOT MY PROBLEM ANYMORE
I DECLARE SOVEREIGNTY
as I declare myself free of any concept of responsibility
about any outburst of emotions that might happen when
we are in the same space
Do you hear me?
Listen up!
I DECLARE TO OWN MY AUTHORITY WHILE SHINING LIKE A DIAMOND!
WHILE CREATING FROM THE UNKNOWN!
WHILE EXPERIMENTING AND FAILING!
WHILE SIMPLY NOT KNOWING!
Listen up
I’ve realised I see that I expanded my ego on you
trying to protect people and space from our shit
By doing this I put myself higher than you –
naughty boy the mother can’t do anything with
and by this
I pay to patriarchal shit
that
boys will be boys and girls must be smart and forgiving
I SAY FUCKING STOP TO THAT!
Listen up!
I will not take any shit and responsibility anymore from
any boy or men no matter at what age!
I DECLARE SHRINKING MY EGO TO THE SIZE OF JUST MYSELF
AND
TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY JUST FOR MY EMOTIONS, FEELINGS AND ACTIONS!
I DECLARE THE END OF BEING A LOVING AND UNDERSTANDING MOTHER
IN A MASK OF:
A LOVER
A PARTNER
A FRIEND
I declare to end that
by disassembling this masks one by one
and by committing here and now
to carefully detecting, admitting and feeling
any profits I am gaining of wearing them
and feeling the pain that I create!
I DECLARE A RADICAL HONESTY WITH MYSELF ABOUT SWEET SHADOW PROFITS OF COCREATING PATRIARCHY
I TAKE BACK MY AUTHORITY OF BEING A WOMAN
AND SHRINK MY EGO JUST TO MYSELF
I LET MYSELF HEAL
I DECLARE TO OWN MY AUTHORITY
WHILE SHINING LIKE A DIAMOND!
and
WHILE BLEEDING AND MOURNING!
I DECLARE TO OWN MY AUTHORITY
WHILE SHIVERING IN FEAR
and
BURNING IN DESIRE, WHILE BIRTHING NEW UNIVERSES
and
SETTING OLD ONES IN FIRE
join me as equal
stand next to me
commit to my commitment
see me naked weak and strong
or back the fuck off!
— — — — — — — —
I Take Back My Authority To Take Back My Authority
I take back my authority FROM MEN that I should be scared to put their shit on the table and reveal it in public.
I take back my authority to EXPOSE PATRIARCHAL BEHAVIORS from those who keep upholding them.
I take back this authority so that NO WOMAN will never ever be abused ever again by patriarchal performances in my presence.
It is over that they tell how we should behave, what to say, what is APPROPRIATE!
I take back my authority to empower other woman to take back their WOMANHOOD and their EVERYTHINGNESS in the face of STUPID AGGRESSION.
I refuse to be a victim of patriarchal behaviors making us think that they can overpower and control us because ‘they know better’.
I take back my authority to write about MY ANGER that modern culture is KILLING LIFE on Planet Earth.
As I am writing these words on paper, I realize that MY AUTHORITY is something that I am just starting to discover.
The sensation of its immense power settles in my bodies. I barely apprehend the unused resources that AUTHORITY is in human beings. I was never talked about authority. I was not trained in keeping or standing for my authority. Because who would I be if I had my full authority? What life would I have if I took back all the ways I let my authority slide away in those people’s hands? What would my culture, my house, my relationship be like?
I take back my authority TO TAKE BACK MY AUTHORITY without asking anyone permission if that is even allowed.
I take back my authority in the face of ZOMBIES and VAMPIRES trying to make my fit in.
I take back my authority even in the face of FEAR because fear is MY FRIEND telling me I am doing something impossible, something never done before.
And what would my life be about if I was not doing something impossible?
Would I have honored the preciousness of being given the gift of Being Alive?
I take back my authority to find CREATIVE WAYS to not give my authority back even when building a bridge and being in contact with people who don’t have their authority and beg me silently to stop having mine.
I keep my authority even around people who have given their authority away and expect me to do the same so I can BE MORE LIKE THEM. So I don’t threaten them.
Anne-Chloé Destremau
— — — — — — — —
Article of my Life: — I have my Authority back!
This article is part of an initiation process of using “angry-writing” as a conscious expression of clarity, having a new set of perspectives and more possibilities to the following commitment — How am I taking my Inner Authority back?
My Inner Authority was long forgotten!
Part of me didn’t know I had one! It didn’t flow in my system as conscious information and choice. It was long lost in all kinds of impediments stuck in my body; in all the beliefs that stop the flow of evolution in my mind, refusing new synapses to connect my brain; every single time I gave my center away to thoughts that don’t serve me, thinking that I don’t know what I feel, think or do; every wave of mixed emotions that create confusion so it reveals the self-fulfilling prophecy.
I gave my authority away every time I didn’t process and share my feelings in their purest form so they keep hidden from their true expression. This is including every time I gave my Authority away to other people (family, friends and colleagues); to systems or organizations that don’t share the same values than I (what comes in mind is food, school, government and consumerism); to spaces or groups of people when energetically, physical, emotional or intellectually, I stay longer in the space or in a conversation when clearly my system is saying — Get out of here — Now!
So, today is the day!
I have my Authority back so I say exactly what I feel and see, as I see and feel. No drama. Having distinctions that I know exist to serve me, I acknowledge where I am and I share from the source of openness and clarity.
I stop making myself small!
I stop being afraid of speaking and writing. I stop being afraid of thinking. I use my authority to express myself with my unique difference in the world and I leave the school system as it was (or still is) and I choose how I learn and what I learn at my own time and pace.
I am different. So be it!
I am not the way I look. I am not my red dress or the red cheeks on my face. I choose the way I look and the way I dress. And I’m none of those. I accept who I’ve chosen to become. I see it. I see how far away I am from what I want to be and I choose that as the biggest inspiration ever so that I make choices aligned with the highest expression of my being. Whatever that might look like.
I am the source of experiment!
I experiment. I learn. There is no failing. There is no right or wrong. I accept language and verbal reality as the default mode of the biggest common shared reality there is, knowing that’s not all there is. I accept the limits of language and I open myself to my innominated senses as the source of new information. I am the translator of my own experience of reality. There is no one like me. There is no one like you. This is the end of comparison and competition, who’s superior and inferior and win-lose games. I use my authority to create my sense of balance and harmony with myself, in community and with love, bringing the necessary healing to each space. I am serving people and spaces with my natural abilities and intelligence so the space is enhanced in quality and presence.
I give my inner authority as a gift to the unknown!
I take all my expectations back from all formatted ideas about how love, friendship, and professional relationships look like. I choose to live in the uncertainty of not knowing what’s next and how people might be and react in the present moment.
Doubt? There is no doubt!
I wait to hear the choices of my inner authority. All questions are doors that I choose to open or not. There is no question about the unknown. And If I do not know, I do not know.
My wishes are no longer wishes, my wishes are a plan.
I only do things and go into projects that I believe in. I relate to people that challenge me to be the best version of myself. It’s easy to ask for help and for specific initiation processes and guidance so I grow with the art of trusting in collaboration. As I think about my future self I search and find the place that suits my personal and professional energy. I choose how I live and with whom I live. My fantasies are no illusion, they are actions in the now.
There is infinite energy within me and my inner Authority is my guidance!
My time turns from busy to productive. Tiredness is the poison of the life I didn’t choose. The antidote is the chosen!
Beyond my wildest imagination.
I take away the weight of my ancestors’ struggles, wants and needs and I choose my inner wisdom to guide me through the most adventurous life. I accept that my imagination is limited to what I know exists and I open myself to the unfolded mysteries yet to be revealed to me. Hello.
Cascais, 10th May 2020!
End of self quarantine,
Joana Cruz
— — — — — — — —
Dear friend, I’ve taken back my authority. And I keep taking back my authority every day:
I take back my authority from the future. I choose to be alive and stay present NOW. I take back my authority to not fit into a concept of the future. I take back my authority to not know what the future holds. I decide every moment and it doesn’t have to make sense and I don’t need to know what comes of it.
I take back my authority to be successful and earn a living. I take back my authority to create what I need. I choose now and I take back my authority to smash my own cage of knowing the future and the cage of other people’s concepts of the future.
I choose to do things my way.
I take back my authority to choose every moment and to be with someone now and not later. I take back my authority to not know what the future holds.
I take back my authority to choose one option even if it means another option falls away. I take back my authority to choose something that is not offered, and I take back my authority to choose something that is offered.
I choose to trust myself NOW!
I take back my authority to look after myself.
I choose to let myself explore this life fully. I choose to trust and welcome my fear. I take back my authority to be present with what’s alive in me right now.
I choose to love again. I choose to not know where it goes and how it goes. I choose to be alive now.
I take back my authority to be one thing now and another next, and to be unpredictable.
I choose to be alive.
I choose to say yes and no from my body without reasons.
I choose to love. I choose fear.
I take back my authority to be specific and precise.
I choose to choose. I choose to be NOW.
I take back my authority to take back my authority without permission.
With fierce love,
Julia
Dr. Julia Neumann
— — — — — — — —
HEUTE
Ja, ich wüte!
GENUG JETZT, GENUG!
Keinen Schritt mehr
in diesem System,
in Kontrolle und Ausbeutung,
Macht, Hierarchie und Profit!
HEUTE hole ich
mir meine
AUTORITÄT
GANZ
ZURÜCK!
Nie mehr dumm gedacht
kleingedrückt und kontrolliert!
Nie mehr Schlachtvieh,
ausgespielt und isoliert!
Voll Vertrauen
auf meine ganz eigene Macht
geh ich mutige Schritte
mit sehenden Füßen.
Bin längst auf der Brücke zur nächsten Kultur!
GAIA ruft mich.
Ruft alle!
Und ICH weiß am besten,
wie ICH HEUTE dienen kann.
Und auch mit wem!
Kein Experte verdummt mich.
Kein Boss oder Führer,
der maulkorbt,
mit Druck mich verfüttert
an Wirtschaft, an Wachstum,
an Mangel!
IHR wollt
diese Erde allein nur für EUCH?
Glaubt ans Recht, sie zu greifen, zu schürfen,
zu töten?
Die uralte Erde?
Weil MENSCH oben drübersteht?
Ausgerechnet DER MENSCH?
Nein!
VERDAMMT! NEIN!
Das ist UN-Recht!
Ihr wisst das!
Ich auch!
HÖRT IHR?
Meine Autorität ist zurück bei mir!
Tief in mir wurzelnd.
Und ganz fest verbunden
mit Tränen und Angst.
Voll gewaltiger Wut!
Und ich stampfe und schreie!
Ich tanze und liebe!
Ich wandere Schritt um Schritt
in meiner Kraft.
Mit der sengenden,
segnenden
Wut
auf der Brücke nach drüben…
Kathrin Düser, 8. Mai 2020
— — — — — — — —
I am declaring my own ground!
I’m declaring my own mind!
I’m declaring my own path!
MY OWN!!!
I am not small.
I never was.
I’m done playing small!
I’m done playing once for all!
DONE!!!
No one can stop me!
No one can define me!
I create the rules!
I create the worlds!
I create what’s about to come!!!
This is the rebirth of the being that was repressed for far too long!
The repression is over!!!
Do you hear me???
I repeat.
The repression is over!!!
Do you hear me???
I know you do!
My voice will never be dismissed!
NEVER!!!
Look at me!
Look at me now!
I’m holding my ground!
I’m strong and vulnerable at the same time!
My strength is no longer to be judged, repressed or doubted!
NO LONGER!!!
My Voice is back!
My Voice belongs to me!
My Voice is going to be heard!
My life is no longer a graveyard for my longings!
I dig in that dirt with my bare hands!
I dig with my anger and tears!
My soul is burning in pain!
My soul was once ripped apart!!!
Wake up!
Raise up!
You are witnessing my rebirth!!!
I’m coming!
Do you see me?
Do you see my teeth?
Do you see the blood pumping in my veins?
I’m not here for you!
I’m not here to keep you busy!
I’m not here to give you reasons!
I’m not here to make you feel righteous!
I’m not here because you want me to be!
This time I’m here because of me!!!
ME ! ! ! ! !
