Dignified Arrogant Women Carry Seeds of Archiarchy

Anne-Chloé Destremau
14 min readApr 7


Chapter Two of Archiarchal Woman. Chapter one is Women Are The Key To The Emergence Of Next Culture (November 2018, too long ago…)

Illustration by Kayle

What sources a woman’s fear of being arrogant? Is arrogance shocking — or revolutionary? Does arrogance equate to being thoughtlessly self-centered? Were you raised to be a ‘good girl’, kind, humble, and uncertain about yourself?

Perhaps it is the experience of being roughly thrown around by the Trumpian arrogance of psychopathic leaders that scares the shit out of you. It might make you wonder, ‘If I stop caring about what other people think or want, would I get that bad? Would I be so blinded by power that I manipulate, control, and ruthlessly compete? Would I be seduced by ‘black magic’ (again)?’

Maybe you carry much simpler, but no less gut-gripping, fears of going crazy, or of being alone, rejected and exiled from your communities if you shine as a radiant, powerful, unwavering Sword of Clarity and Source of Love.

Maybe you have no empowering examples of upright, straightforward, compassionate yet clear, free and natural adult women. Or perhaps you have found some examples (they are around!) but you resent the way they confront the dogma inserted in each cell of your body that commands you to stay hidden. Maybe you search for their downfalls and faults so that you do not have to be inspired by them.

Maybe your only point of reference for what a woman is, is to doubt your own Anger, your Clarity, your vision. You watched your mother doubt, your grandmother worry, your teachers warn, moms on the schoolground scolding the other children. Even if some women in your life rage wildly, you sense that their unbridled wrath covers up their terror of being punished for striving to be who they really are, feeling guilt about trying to stand for the possibilities they represent.

Angry women have been painted throughout history by men as hysterical, or crazy. The male psychologist says you are not getting enough sex. Their inaccurate assessment of reality comes from men’s ignorance of mixed emotions. Mixing Anger and Fear together produces the experience of hysteria. ‘Yes plus No’, ‘I want to change something — but I cannot.’ ‘I want to be angry — but it is scary’. ‘I want to say what I want — but it is not allowed.’ The back-and-forth, the wiggliness, the doubt creeps in to dilute your Rage: hysteria is indeed crazy-making, both from inside and out. You might be loud but nothing changes. You have not yet practiced the inner navigation skills for your Anger to hold space for expressing your Fear’s intelligence, and for your Fear to precisely direct your Anger’ pure energy.

Maybe you saw that the women who were more subdued, more understanding and embracing, did not have to manage hysteria. Maybe you saw them be praised for their accomplishments, even rewarded. Maybe you decided that that is what an Adult Woman is.

Or maybe seeing the rageful destruction of chaotic hatred both men and women unconsciously unleash made you swear never to risk such explosions yourself. Has your vow succeeded? What tensions and illnesses are caused by suppressing your Rage and Sorrow? Are women who suppress their Clarity less conniving, less passive aggressive, or warmongering than the rage-aholics?

The path was set out for women by men for you to become understanding and all-embracing of the wounds and difficulties of others. The image cultivated by men for a Mother is Mother Earth, an endless Source of Unconditional Love. These behaviors have been prescribed for women for 6000 years by the Patriarchy — a culture centered on the success of adolescent teenage boys. Please breastfeed us. Stroke our ego. Tell us we are doing a good job. And when we fail, please forgive us (O Mary Mother of God).

It is easy to carry the idea that the wounded of society did not receive the Love and Attention and care needed so they could thrive. Whose mother is not to blame for the shortcomings of her children? From there comes the attitude that if a woman can accept and embrace unconditionally the adolescent teenagers abusing her daughters, other women, other children, and the Earth, the poor boys might heal. This possibility is rarely, if ever, applied among sisters: the all-embracing Mother is mostly oriented towards saving men. Why else do women allow it? ‘I cannot but forgive you for consuming, pillaging, abusing and raping (me). After all, you are wounded.’ Women play along because we, too, get something in return: someone to be with, someone to take care of and remind us that we are good people.

Being arrogant might seem selfish, but unconditionally taking care of uninitiated adolescent boys devouring Earth so that you would not be alone is egotistical.

Yes, uninitiated boys have wounds, and so do you. So what? The true power of wounds is that they are a gateway to calling forth new parts of your Being. Wounds — yours or the boy’s or other women’s — and fears of being wounded again, are no longer acceptable justifications for killing Life.

Women carry Seeds for Archiarchy — the regenerative initiation-centered evolutionary culture emerging around the world now that Matriarchy and Patriarchy have run their course. When you sense the Clarity and Power of the Seeds in you, spending your time and energy merely trying to survive in the Patriarchy becomes simply revolting. Being adaptive at any level to a life-killing culture is a betrayal of the crystal-clear wisdom inside you of what is possible.

The pain — the Rage, the Sorrow, the Fear — that you suppress, day-after-day, while walking the streets of the cemetery that modern cities have become, indicates that the Seeds to create what comes next are still alive and well inside of you.

Some women around the world have already stopped trying to make others (and themselves) feel better in their torturous circumstances, and instead direct themselves towards planting and watering Seeds to grow the next culture. What if you became one of us? This is the invitation.

Instead of being ‘so understanding’ of so many fear-based child-centered excuses you and others have given to Gaia to avoid being alive, you can start being arrogant about the Seeds you hold space for. What if you become so arrogant that you are no longer willing to be bored for even one second with the ordinary offerings of modern culture? What if you become so arrogant about the next culture Seeds that you are nursing to life, that every level of Bullshit dies on your Sword of Clarity? If you do not instantaneously undermine Bullshit, you are sourcing the Bullshit.

The path of women who source Archiarchy — Archiarchal Women — is step-by-step to deepen the context and build the skills to uncompromisingly cavitate, source, hold, and navigate space for a regenerative culture. Once you can personally generate the culture of Archiarchy, you can carry it with you wherever you go. You never have to leave it behind.

Seeds grow in a well-tended Garden. A well-tended Garden has boundaries. A garden with no fence is a dog toilet. Have you had enough being a dog toilet where anyone can come and deposit bullshit? Has it been long enough pretending to ‘be nice’, being false, adapting to other’s needs, lying to yourself and betraying your true purpose and value? When will it be time to stop thinking you need a ‘man’ to keep you safe? Has it been long enough pretending to be every ‘hurt’ person’s Mother?

Don’t get me wrong! I am not diminishing the value of an Adult Woman who is compassionate, all encompassing and Loving. How can a woman not be those things? You were born as Everything. You are connected to Everything, and Everything is connected to you. Each woman stands as a gateway to the Garden of Archetypal Love.

And, it is the new epoch, the bridge into Archiarchy, where women grow up from naively accepting What Is, to arrogantly creating What Is.

There has been a misinterpretation of what unconditional Love means. From the perspective of children, unconditional Love means that anyone can make messes and never have to suffer the consequences of cleaning them up. ‘Will you love me no matter what?’ From the perspective of a Free and Natural Adult Woman (which makes her Archetypal), unconditional Love is unconditional Responsibility, or in other words: Radical Responsibility. Love and Responsibility are two aspects of the same coin.

Love never dies. Love is available for anyone willing and skilled enough to source it. Women, you have for far too long been accepting and sourcing a quality of love that is mediocre. You could change your mind and arrogantly decide right now: ‘Childish love is beneath me. It is disrespecting the Source. It is destroying the Seed.’

And instead, you could shift your point-of-origin: ‘I am not here to make you feel better, or to care for you. You have a heart, use it. My heart is not available for you to take and use for your childish needs of being seen, accepted, and cherished. I have a mission on Earth. Gaia is waiting for me to show up and do what I came here to do. I am a Seed of next culture. Gaia lives in me. I wield a Sword of Clarity and it is sharp and immediate. I am no longer willing to tolerate Bullshit.

I was recently in a space where a woman actually spoke these fiery words. She did not stop there. She continued: ‘Women have lost knowing how to bond with each other in the Fire of carrying the next culture Seed, in the sharpness of our Swords, in the annihilation of Love.

You could make ongoing uncompromising offers such as: ‘I know inside of me What Is possible right here and right now, and this is what I want. I am unwilling to compromise one second more. I will relate here, and this level of integrity and radical honesty. I will collaborate here. I am not settling for less. Ever again.

These would be the words of an arrogant dignified woman who respects herself, her viable regenerative culture, and the instructions the Seed she carries.

EXPERIMENT SEEDARCH.01: DISCOVER THE CLARITY OF YOUR SEED. If someone holds space for a woman to speak, if she is initiated, she will design Archiarchy at your feet unstoppably. This experiment is to be done many times, definitely more than once. Each time you try it, you will get better at letting the Seed speak through you. The Seed itself can move through you. The Seed itself can commit to new actions. The Experiment goes like this: In your Women’s 3Cell, arrange for two Listeners to sit across from one Speaker. (This also works online.) The Speaker gives one of the Listeners their Beep! Book for the Listener to write down what the Speaker says. The other Listener says: ‘How does it go from here to a better future? How could it be going better than this?’ And then, Speaker, you let your Seed speak through you. If the Speaker is complaining, blaming, resentment or being a victim, one of the Listeners immediately says: ‘You are complaining. That is a gateway for an Emotional Healing Process (EHP). Please write it down at the back of your Beep! Book.’ Then the Listener asks again: ‘How can it be going better than this?’ Give between 10–15 minutes for each Speaker to let their Seeds speak. The Listeners can, at any time, say: ‘Please say more about this’ or they can ask a clarifying question. The Seeds speak instructions for creating Archiarchy.

EXPERIMENT SEEDARCH.02: BUILD A FENCE AROUND YOUR GARDEN. There is a difference between a fence and a wall, even though both are ‘boundaries’. A wall is a separation that cuts off connection. In contrast to this, you can relate across a fence. This experiment is about defining the new ways that you respect yourself and your culture. There are so many domains in which to exercise respect for yourself.

This experiment takes 20 minutes each time you do it. Do this experiment at least 4 times in the next month. Sit down with your Beep! Book and pen. Cavitate the Space where your Archiarchal Culture — the culture of the Seeds you carry — thrives. (You can find clear instructions for Cavitating Space on the Cavitate Space website). Enter the new Space you Cavitate. Leave all other Spaces behind. Then write down what happens in your newly Cavitated culture space and what does not happen. Describe the culture where your Seeds sprout and grow best. For example:

‘My interaction spaces are reserved for High Drama.’

‘I dismantle expectations before they can create resentments.’

‘I care enough about myself to protect myself from the effects of alcohol, cigarettes, recreational drugs and loud incessant music, etc.’

‘I radically rely on the Seed of Archiarchy that I carry.’

‘It is not my job to make others feel better.’

Being arrogant is the experiment of relying 100% on the intelligence and energy of your Seed. Radically rely on your Clarity more than you rely on the external feedback from the culture of Patriarchy. Radically rely on your feelings of Rage more than you rely on the emotional fears of your doubt.

The opposite of being arrogant is not being humble. The opposite of being arrogant is being naïve.

Being arrogant is not about becoming numb. On the contrary, doubting yourself may be, unbeknownst to yourself, your number one numbing mechanism. Numbing yourself is what you use to police yourself. If you feel doubt, you numb yourself instead of radiating inquisitiveness and precisions with your Sword Of Clarity. Doubt is hidden in plain sight because it is so common among modern women. Who could accuse you of being numb when you are torturing yourself about what you did or said or how you looked while doing it? You could easily sell that you are learning to be a better person because you ruminate worryingly over your actions for days.

Judgmental voices in your mind nag at you by screaming: You are being reactive. You cannot trust your Anger. You are being too much. You could have said it more gently or elegantly. There you go again hurting people! What could I have done differently? How could I have said it better? Who am I anyway? They don’t like me, so I should stop. I will end up all alone.

You are the carrier of instructions from Gaia about how to source a regenerative human culture on Earth, and you are going to doubt the Archiarchal Seeds in you because Zombies out there make photos in magazines and instagram that say you should try to look like that? Behave like that?

Instead of stopping the Seed dead in her tracks, you can say, “I do not know how this goes. I do know that I want it to go. I am finished doubting the Seeds I carry. Instead, I am bringing these Seeds to life in the world. Planting and nurturing these Seeds is the center of my life. The rest of my life can fall where it may.”

EXPERIMENT SEEDARCH.03: STOP DOUBTING YOURSELF FOR 3 MONTHS. The intelligence and energy of the Seeds you carry is ever-present and arises mostly as low intensity pure feelings of anger, sadness, fear, and joy. If you ignore these messages, if you procrastinate the Seed planting processes, then you are begging for the Hammer! The Hammer is when the Universe gets tired of your piddly-ass excuses for not planting your Seeds for next culture. The Hammer comes in and smashes your life so you are freed of your excuses and liquid enough to try something else. Of course, in the process of being Hammered, you might lose all your money, have an accident, be divorced, get an illness, etc. Waiting past the ‘Best If Used By…’ date to plant your Archiarchy Seeds can be… eye opening. The Universe wants your Seeds to be planted. The Universe is on your side in this regard.

This Experiment is for the next 3 months to follow every impulse that you have for no reason. All of them, even if they seem a little bit crazy. Move before you think. Make a crack in your habitual pattern of avoiding responsibility for the impulses that you receive. Arrogantly trust your intuitions. Do not let one second pass or doubt will creep in. Doubts are fast, and so are stories. Radically rely on the instructions of your Seeds for who to talk to, what to write, what proposals to make, what proposals to reject, etc.

When you radically rely on your Seed, you radically relate to the world, other people, and Possibilities. Some women carry a particular Seed that tells you that respecting yourself includes training other women to respect themselves. If you have that one, please plant it immediately even if you have no idea how it goes.

EXPERIMENT SEEDARCH.04: LET THE SEED SPEAK TO STRANGERS. It takes courage, boldness, and a wish for adventure to speak the instructions of your Seed to strangers. Your Seed can speak straight through the deadness of their survival life. It also takes practice to create more and more elegant results when your Seed speaks. There are ways to make extraordinary and unreasonable offers to people that they will feel so joyful afterwards, but there are also ways to make offers that offend people. This is the Experiment: Next time you are on the bus or traveling somewhere, and you sit next to people who are waiting at the airport or the train station, assume that E.C.C.O. (Earth Coincidence Control Office) is at work coordinating whoever is sitting next to you. Tell them: “I am trying to write up a talk…” or, “I am working on an article…” or, “I am writing a dissertationCan I ask you what you think about these ideas? If they say, “No,” then you can say, “Okay. No problem. Thanks for thinking about it. Sorry for bothering you.” But if they say, “Yes,” then let your Seed speak out three distinctions or three possibilities for life in Archiarchy to them, and ask them what they think about it. Write down what they say in your Beep! Book. At the end, thank them for their time and attention. If they seem interested, give them a StartOver.xyz postcard!

EXPERIMENT SEEDARCH.05: REFUSE TO LET OTHER WOMEN FAIL. A specific dynamic plays out among women who were born and raised in the Patriarchy. It goes like this: don’t ask, don’t tell. Or in other words, let’s live in denial about each other’s denial all the while gossiping about it with others: ‘It is their choice. Who am I to say anything about their choice? If they want to do it this way, it is not my problem.’ Under the banner of ‘respecting other women’s choice’, what we really do is let each other fail. You have been trained to abandon other women in the trenches of women’s patriarchal competition for ownership of the men.

If you pretend to support women no matter the choices they make, without asking true questions or offering alternative options that they may never have thought of before, then you are lying to them about what else is possible for them, or you are lying to the Seed that you carry. Nobody already knows about Archiarchy. Your Seed is a precious treasure. Your Seed is exactly that kind of treasure that grows by giving it away! By not sharing the clarity, distinctions, wisdom, possibilities, soft skill technologies, and inspiration of your Seed, then you are either out of Integrity with them or with the culture that you know is possible.

Warning: this experiment is not about changing other women. First of all, it is unlawful to try to change somebody else. Second of all, it does not work. Plus it is infuriating for the other person. How do you like it when other people try to change you? This Experiment is about finding the line between respecting other women’s choices and not letting them fail.

Finding the line starts with your willingness to be arrogant enough to question any assumption that your female colleague carries about the culture they live in. Be a pain-in-the-ass so that when they tell you: “THAT is the culture I choose!” then you know it is not the default culture, or that at least they have thought about alternatives. You stuck your neck out and let your Seed speak so that they are not merely trapped in a thought prison but are actually making a choice for themselves.

Your Seed of Archiarchy is a treasure of valuable choices that most people have never thought of before. This is such a playground for collaborative invention, especially between women.



Anne-Chloé Destremau

Next Culture Maker, Evolutionary Gameworld Builder and Possibility Management Trainer