A Story About Jacking In
Before I encountered the possibility of adulthood and the concept of going through archetypal initiatory processes, I mostly regarded myself as a strange human being overoccupied with too many considerations and questions for my friends and loved ones to bear. I had learned to mostly be quieter than I wanted to be. Unconsciously, I had discovered that I could be a little louder — and little crazier — when I and my friends were drunk. Then my degree of craziness would go unnoticed.
Eventually I dropped the social niceness show and hit the road. That is when I suddenly met the possibility that the world needed me to grow up. The things I discovered about what an adult human being could be, drastically exceeded my imaginings. My guess is that I am still at the beginning of this journey. It seems quite likely that my human soul is still mostly uncharted territory. I feel glad about this. Then I have something challenging to do for the rest of my life.
But I digress… At the beginning of this journey, I met a Man. I capitalize the word Man for a reason. He had learned, through dying many many times, the Possibility and the value of Being Nothing in the Presence of a Woman. This time, the woman just happened to be me. It was the first time that I experienced my Everythingness being well met. Not only were the archetypal parts of me seen, they were also held, and most of all, welcomed. Not being naive, I didn’t let my guard down so easily. He had to work unfalteringly for more than two years before it occured that he was received by the Source. We would go to cafés and restaurants and he would sit there attentively with his book open, a pen in his hand, and through nonlinear possibility questions he would open doorway after doorway for my archetypal aspects to flow through — coincidentally in his general direction.
These were the best of times. Experiencing the electricity of being jacked-into an archetypal Source and downloading the Treasure to an unfillable receptacle is by far the most exhilarating adventure I had until then found. We filled up pages and pages of multiple ‘Beep! Books’ with ideas, distinctions, thoughtmaps, processes, adventures… each one a precious jewel.
Ahead of me, the Man became quickly unsatisfied that these jewels remained encoded as ink on paper stored away in his belt pouch. He wanted to share these treasures with the world. But I didn’t care! I just wanted to be The Source through which these treasures popped into the world again and again. Back then, I only thought I could access this Archetypal flow if he was holding a vast and empty space into which the Source could speak.
This Man became more and more obsessed with completing a promise (he later explained to me) that he had made. The promise was that if the Bright Principle of Clarity gave him everything — the full download — he would give the treasure away to a million people. From inside the doorway, the requests from the Man became less insistent in my direction and more imperative in his own direction. As the pressures of unused abundance built up in me I went through six months of deep liquid states, not knowing what to do with the nearly overwhelming sensations. I was back to being left to my own devices, but now the devices moved according to their own intentions.
Slowly, I admitted my own discomforts enough to myself to take the Man’s oft-repeated advice to write. It did not matter exactly what, he said. Film scripts, articles, blog-posts, poems… My writing started out painfully, not even close to the ecstasy of having my Feminine Universe pulled through me by the magnetism of his Masculine Necessity.
I had heard talk of the process of Jacking-In to one’s Archetypal Lineage. I rejected the idea outright. For starters, I didn’t believe that I had any contact with my Archetypal Lineage, not being able to write or speak without an avid listener. The whole ‘Archetypal Lineage’ idea seemed like esoteric wishful thinking. Being professionally trained as a lawyer, this was definitely not my cup of tea. Then the Man made this Woman an Offer. He said, “Let’s arrange a four-month-long writing-creation retreat for us next year.” I will let you imagine how not-exciting that sounded to me at the time… The pot inside me was boiling…
Then we were on day four of delivering a five-day Possibility Village Lab in Mallorca, October 2018. Gradually a transformational space had opened up that felt more profoundly safe than any I had previously experienced. The entire Team of participants felt bonded and was functioning smoothly as one organism. The evening session opened up and suddenly so did my mouth. Words flowed across my tongue that I would have bet everything could never have been formulated by this Being. Before I could stop myself with reasonableness I blurted out: “I think it is time that I jack-In to my Archetypal Lineage”.
I had no idea where my change of mind had come from. Luckily I had had enough experience in mind-changing that I did not question it. What was the point?
The space automatically rearranged itself. Chairs moved into a tight circle around one single chair in the center. I had my Center, my Grounding Cord, my Bubble, my Sword of Clarity to hand… and moved into that empty chair. The process began.
In the end, the operation was successful. (Later I learned that not so many of these Jack-In processes are.) I jacked-Into my Archetypal Lineage surrounded by a circle of twenty-plus Edgeworkers who had been working their butts-off for four days to expand their consciousness. Nothing I can really tell you can prepare you for this experience. In my case, I felt so supported, so loved and carried by the tribe that I could even say they caused it to happen. I could trust their trust of me. I could radically rely on their radical reliance on me.
I guess I expected myself to be entirely different the next day. I expected to feel more awakened. I expected to experience some sort of electricity jolting its way through my body. I definitely expected SOMETHING to be different. But… it wasn’t. I am not saying that it is like this for others. I have heard so many different stories about initiatory processes that it is not realistic to imagine any guidelines about how they should go.
About a month later… I started noticing that I would begin talking in a conversation before this Man asked me a question. I would talk with people before they explained what our meeting was about. Messages built up in me and just had to come out. I would keep talking for fifteen minutes, even half-an-hour, without tiring or being afraid that I was bothering anybody. This was shocking to me. But it was so transparent now that if someone was not being fed by listening they could go somewhere else or hang up the phone. I no longer had that self-preservation force wanting to keep me shut up and waiting.
Yesterday this Man and I were co-creating an online transformational learning platform, talking and typing as fast as we could to document the ideas, processes, and powerful distinctions flowing through us. Suddenly I felt rage. The rage did not stop me or block the flow. Instead this rage became compelling. The rage added fierceness to my creation ecstasy. This rage demanded me to ask myself at my deepest core: “What is the point of you having all these cool ideas if no one is going to use them to create something different in their lives for themselves and for others? It is utterly pointless if only YOU get to have ecstasy but not other people! Those things are not for you. You cannot even make use of them all. They are for everyone! Are you ready to give them away to everyone?”
The answer was, “Yes. I am ready.” With this rage aliveness in me I no longer need one person in front of me asking questions for the Source to open up. Everybody around me is already hungry and waiting for new clarity and possibilities. The Source (AKA my ‘Archetypal Lineage’) has its own initiative to give people what they need and can use. This is the whole point of preparing myself for so long and finally Jacking-In: to share the treasures as wide and large as I can. Keeping the ecstasy and the discoveries for myself is not part of the deal anymore. Before I thought the jewels were for me. Now this fiercely ecstatic dragon is alive in me and won’t stop giving the treasure away to the world! No one could have prepared me for this. All I’m saying is, this could happen to you.
